# 30 Are You Looking at Your Children With Hope? Pro 22:6, Col 3:21.

Jesus told an illustration, of hope, of pain, of love.

Found at Luke chapter 15, this story is powerful and heart retching. It's the one about the prodigal son.

Starting in verse 1, Jesus notices the attitudes of the Pharisees and the Scribes, judging Jesus for showing love toward Tax collectors and Sinners. Demonstrating the difference in attitude between himself, and in turn Jehovah God, and the Religious leaders he told a number of illustrations.

Firstly the one about a man who loses 1 Sheep and leaves 99 behind to find and return to his protective care the lost one, rejoicing when he does so.

Then the woman who loses a coin of small value, but hunts till she finds it and again rejoicing with others at the finding of the lost one.

Concluding these he relates; "Thus, I tell you, joy arises among the Angels of God over one sinner that repents."

Question: Did either the man or women give up as lost either the Sheep or Coin? Did they have Hope in their heart that, just maybe, "I can get it back". Obviously the Sheep and Coin had value in their eyes. What's the point for us and all to learn?

The Prodigal son! Yes! He followed these 2 illustrations with a powerful story, one many seem to have missed it's application, from all walks of life and religions. It is not a tool to make Children perfect.

Running from Verse 11-32 at the end of chapter 15. Like the other 2, this illustration is one of, Loss, Hope, Rejoicing. This time however it is involving something far greater in value than small cattle or money. This time it's regarding the very thing we live, fight and die for, our CHILDREN.

Our children are, as God's word puts it, "An inheritance from God", Ps 127:3.

Would you throw away a gift from God? A Child?

Sometimes it has happened due to life, Financial or Mental stress, Post Natal depression or even death that a parent leaves a child, sometimes, permanently. (Jehovah, However, says; "Even if your mother should Abandon you, I will by no means leave you". Something like that, I just can't find it right now.)

But Jesus was not talking about situations like that, was he? He had just pointed out the harsh judgement of others they considered to be "Falling Short of Their expectations", measured by the traditions and judgements of those whom they had learned from, "The Leaven of the Pharisees and Sadducees". From which Jesus warned us, Mt 16:6.

How did the father in the illustration handle the disastrous, lose of his son?

Lets see how thing developed first. his son was living with his father and older brother. A pretty normal dynamic. Although a mother isn't mentioned in this instance, it's the father we want to learn from. Question; Do you think the younger son was a perfect child? Could he have had an attitude similar to many younger siblings, the youngest perhaps? Possibly, eager to prove themselves, comparing themselves to an older sibling they just can't seem to measure up to and often not get along with? Wanting space from the pressures of life, but lacking the experience to manoeuvre through adulthood?

The situation developed in the story that the youngest broke free, ruining his life further in the process. How though did the father react? Did he say; "Get out and don't come back"? Probably not, as the son, "when he came to his senses" returned home.

And when he did, it truly was a time of rejoicing. However as in many families, sibling tensions continued. Maybe they always had some beef with each other. But, yet again, the father, Gently tried to stabilise the ship. showing a measure of balanced love for both, even in, YET another trying situation.

In dealing with Both son's, the father in the illustration, kept the door open, a means for hope, A light in a dark place for his offspring.

Just yesterday, "Again" I was told of a family who was splintered, shattered and with no hope of reconciliation. Why? This family was a Jehovah's Witness family, one child was no longer given any attention at all from the father in particular, singled out, isolated and "Shunned" was The word used to describe this "lost sheep" this "drachma coin". No Love, the very thing that is supposed to be an identifying quality of God fearing peoples, John 13:35.

The issue seems to be the same situation that Jesus' illustrations were supposed to highlight to all who want a success in family and life. Love, God's cardinal quality which we should do our utmost to imitate. This family, as with many among J.W.s and members of other religions, have been divided and shattered due to love!, No! Not pure love, but by so strong a desire to be perfect in ones own worship of God, Allah, or any other that "Their heart" is so devoted to, "you cut off your nose despite of your face". Children are being hurt by the very thing you hope to instil into their hearts, a love for God. In effect throwing away a Gift from God. Of course this would never be the intension, but by "closing the door to your affection", the damage can be permanent.

Read the account for yourself. How exactly did the father deal with each child? Did he have any idea his boys could react to life the way they did? Probably, they were his children. And that's the point. Don't be disappointed or surprised by the direction a young adult is taking. They will all make their own decision's and many mistakes. As parents, be mindful of their inexperience as young peoples. Hopefully if they make some poor one's they can find their way back to the strong arms of parents who they know will welcome them home. No! That does not mean you support or agree with every decision. The effects of any decision are often felt by others and themselves, at times for a long time, whether good or bad. But as ones grow into adulthood, that's what they are supposed to do isn't it? Especially one's that lead them away from God or Pure worship, if however, they "Come to their senses" you can be a friend, not just a parent. Rejoice with all and don't hold onto the pain and with hope move forward. Not judging but with an ear to listen.

Do not give up hope, your family may be restored. "Love hopes all things". 1Cor 13:7.

I was once told an illustration, "children are like springs between your fingers, it's not sustainable to keep indefinite tension and pressure on it, or them and you can't let it loose too early, it will fly off. But, if you gently, over time, release the tension, it will be a stable situation, giving them room to grow and experience life at a steady pace. Hopefully, then, things will then go well for them"

I myself have made more than a few mistakes when guiding the decisions of my children, some of which I wouldn't mind being able to correct. But time and experience are inevitable, along with good and bad advice.

Pro 22;6 says, "Train up a boy according to the way for him" or "Her". Col 3;21 reminds parents; "Do not be exasperating your Children, so they do not become down hearted".

I can think of a couple of examples in God's word that we can take something from.

For example; Jacob and Esau, Abraham and lot, all four were prominent men in the Bible record.

Recall Jacobs Strong desire for spiritual things, Esau however was less concerned, spending his time and energy on hunting and becoming his version of a man.

Abraham was a relative of Lot, Lot however was not called "God's Friend", was he? All four made different life choices.

If you have 1 son who just wants to travel and another want's to work in the family business, which is right? Which should you love more?

If you brother is naturally good at singing but your voice is nothing like his, Is that Bad?

Do you "love the one and hate the other?" As was the case Jacob, with Rachel and Leah? (Indicating greater or less favour, not HATRED).

How did the True God view the choices and "free will" these men exercised?

Abraham was given the promise, as was Jacob. So they "Chose the good portion".

However, both lot and Esau were blessed by God, Esau became father of the nation of Edom and Lot became father of the nations of the Moabites and the Ammonites.

Jehovah kept looking to bless all with good.

Those who "exert themselves", making a relationship with the living God fair better.

Recall also the account when Jesus took a meal with Mary and Martha? Luke 10:38 - 42. "Mary chose the good portion".

Yes all make their own way in life, whether we agree or not with their decision's.

If we close the "door of our affections to them because of the "free will" God has granted them, we are not imitating our heavenly father, "The Rock". We should, at least try to put our feelings aside at times, even if our suggestions or counsel is ignored.

Turn the page and see how they grow, all we can do is our best, It is up to them to do theirs. Remember I previously noted, "Your best, is not theirs"!

Our job is to be a Support like Jehovah And Jesus, Encourage righteousness and "be ready to forgive". We expect God to forgive us, do we not? He of course is perfect, when he forgives, "He Forgives".

We should at least try to do the same.

One may find themselves in an unimaginable situation. If a family member is constantly contentious, maybe some away time may help. If there is an unsolvable danger to others, maybe isolation or some other step may be necessary, with hope still offered. If Yet more serious, like a finger with gangrene, it may be necessary to cut out the bad to protect the whole hand.

Of course all decisions should include conversation, prayer and time before major decisions are made.

If another is counselling you into a course that will tear down rather than build up your relationship with others, especially family, tell them to shut their mouths. It's your inheritance, your gift from God, your decision not theirs, however difficult.

Whatever you are going through, do it together, keep united, with love, one flesh.

You do YOUR best as your children endeavour to do theirs as they and we as parents make mistakes on their own way through life.

Your child is not you, If a child does not eventually say, "what have I to do with you woman", as Jesus did to his mother, working out for themselves what is right or wrong, based on their personal life experience and their relationship with God, are they not living your life, not their own?

Therefore, let them fly, but leave the door open, love.

This section may obviously bring up deep scars and much pain. do not rush or expect change instantly. Jehovah is leading us and drawing all "with cords of love". Be open to change, begin the healing.

What is Done Is Done, learn from it, but leave it behind. you don't need the baggage of past sins.

If you have been rejected by family entirely, "Jehovah will take you in". You can also be a great support to others.

Remember Jesus "loved" tax collectors and sinners, he looked for the good in all. Shouldn't we love our children in the same way?

The father in the story, SAW HIS SON FROM A LONG "WAY OFF", yes, the father was looking for his sons return. Just like the true God, He is looking for our return to pure worship or acceptance of it.

He is ready to welcome us with rejoicing, along "With the Angels in heaven".

May you find calm in your spirit and joy in your hearts. Remember, family is special if all embrace it.

I am not a Phycologist or anything like that. I am only relating the things I have seen and are in my heart.

man in expectation:)

26/2/24

I have recently added experiences in the Blog entitled "Long Lost Family".

Considering these and other events in my life, I thought it relevant to this section.

Children are who they are, the adult they become can be shaped into a bitter, angry, bubbly or simply a balanced adult.

I have seen ones raised in families with little love, yet they grow up to adore their parents.

I have seen omnes given the world, just to grow up into a person who cares only about their own needs, wants and desires. yet others who grow up in the same situations, they appear to be reverse of the other ones???

It appears that each child has a blueprint engraved on the soul. They are who they are despite the world around them.

However, the things they see, dictated how many, treat the world around them.

My cousin was adopted out, and although having a good upbringing, according to her own words, rebelled.

Therefore, if ones are not given the things to challenge them, their thinking and the direction for the steps they take. They can and likely will totter at times.

The answer? I only know this, A parent simply does the best they can, with what they have.

Whether a child benefits, is largely up to them.

A parent can, by not saying hurtful things to their child, nor building up their Ego's to the extreme, give a balanced expectation of life.

A child needs to grow under some trial, some adversity and to learn for themselves how to be flexible yet ready. How to be, mild, yet firm for righteousness.

If a child does not have an appreciation for Godly things, for life, for love, they will have a hard time of it.

However; your example and that of others is a huge help. let them see a husband loving his wife. let the see the respect the wife has for the husband. And both for God. Not righteous overmuch. Like driving in a tack with a sledge hammer. But in the moments of peace, of tranquillity, joy and even fun.

Hopefully, your child will grow into a mountain, beautiful and unmovable from all that is good.

Peace to you and long life. Man in expectation :)

The mash-up! "You must love Jehovah your God, with your whole Heart, Mind, Soul and Strength and keep His Commandments. If you do, you will be wise enough to bypass any trial with ease, and have an indefinitely lasting name with The Living One. Those who fail to take these things to heart, will suffer shame and fall short in a large way, all that is his, will be destroyed and cease to exist.

You who love Him, however, will flourish with joy, under the tent cloths of Jehovah, always." Ecc 12:13, Mark 12:30 and Ps 37:18-20.